Jake is doing HORRIBLE in school...........Tim and I are with the thought
that now he is 13 and a half and nearly in highschool, this is HIS
responsibility........other then asking him daily if he has homework and
providing him uninterrupted time to complete it if he does have it, it is in
HIS hands.......of course, the Ex thinks this is totally emotionally
abusive.....on the other hand, when Tim would hound Jake daily about his
grades and make trips to the school to talk to teachers and force him to
catch up on missing assignment that he should have got done during his time
with his mother (which is why he did fairly wekk first marking period), that
of course was abusive too...*rolleyes*
Yah, cuz whatever she is doing sure seems to be working huh? We seriously
think her mind set is that if he fails as an adult...he will always need
mama.....*gag*
3 comments:
Have you guys tried different methods of helping him study and work on rewards for turning homework in?
I used to do HORRIBLE In school and I finally convinced my parents to let me have the TV on in the back ground while I studied (Something that was TOTALLY against their rules). I started doing much better. I also had a problem turning in homework, mine was due to an OCD problem though. They told me if I could do it for a year and not miss any assignments they would get me a reward at the end of the year. One year it was a new boom box next it was my very own 13" tv and then a car stereo... It kept me pretty motivated to turn my shit in. All I can say...bribery does work!
lol
Kirsten,
We have tried EVERYTHING!!! He has however just started ADD medicine so we are HOPING this will improve things. The counselor wasn't convinced that he has ADD, but we are willing to try anyting once at this point. We have rewarded him for doing good, grounded him for doing bad. Taken away privlidges for bad grades, gave him special privilages for good grades...His biggest problem at this point is his constant dishonesty. He claims to NEVER have homework. We got to a point to where we were E-mailing his teachers daily to find out if he had missing assignments, ect and it because absolutely exhausting for everyone. The teachers dont have time to be spending that much time on ONE student. They all agree he is completely capable, he just doesn't apply himself. The most deadly things are the progressive assignments that he should have been working on for weeks and weeks in class and turning in rough drafts, peer reviews, ect. and when it comes time for them to be turned in...he has NOTHING.....we have since been asking the teachers for heads up about those type of assignments and when we are aware of them, we continue to ask him if he is up to speed with what he is supposed to be doing and he assures us he is..and when it comes time for a grade, it's only about 1/2 complete at best. So frustrating....We have been SOMEWHAT success as you can see from 1st marking period, but not without looking like the major "bad guys' in his eyes while his mother does nothing and takes all the credit...the 50/50 custody certainly doesnt help because he seems to go 1 step forward when with us, and two steps back when he's with her...
If this were my situation.....
I would be doing what my parents did. If I "didn't have homework" they got Multiplication work sheets for me to do. I had to do them for 20 minutes. I started realizing that the ACTUAL homework I had was WAY easier! as for the big assignments.... I think that one is still going to need your assistance. Have the teacher email you a heads up. Thats all you need. Then bug the ever loving shit out of him about it. lol
Oh and for the ex.....she can f' off. You guys are trying to do something. You are trying to get him to learn how to take care of his own responsibilities. She needs to get on board with you. If she lets him slide at her house and is doing the opposite of what you guys are....of course he isn't going to succeed in learning. He needs all of you guys working on the same page!
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